Alternate title: The Tale of Three Shoes
The War on Uggs
It’s about time we launch this war and I am proudly placing myself on the anti-Ugg side. Listen all you Ugg-Traffickers, I used to be just like you. I used to stomp around in my Uggs proclaiming, “They aren’t ugly! Who cares?! They are sooo comfortable!” I used to be delusional. The fact of the matter is that those shoes are hideous and you can’t sit with us. There are about 100 different winter shoes options that will keep your feet warm without making them sweat and smell to high heavens. No matter how comfortable you are those are wide and sloppy, and they will make you look wide and sloppy, too. Why chose unstructured boots on sweaty feet when you can have boots that show how fabulous you truly are? Uggs also makes me think of my other least favorite article of clothing, sweatpants. But more on that another time. Please, girls of the world, I beg of you, join me in the war on Uggs. When the charming flamboyant salesman at Nordstrom tries to sell you Uggs, in the words of Nancy Reagan, “Just say no.”
My Soles Met Their Mates and My Soul is at Peace
I’ve been looking for these shoes since September you will never guess where I got them and how much they cost. Forever 21. $35. Wham bam thank you ma’am. Oh brown lace up booties, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love you with my green pants. I love you with cuffed up my blue jeans. I love you with tights. I love you with my leather leggings. I love you with thick socks spilling over top. I love you when I’m not wearing you. You are truly my solemates.
I want these in my closet please. That’s all.